Sunday, June 30, 2013

KItsche-y Garden Tour: Ground Zero

Grumpy Cat was there as welcome committee...
 Just to be clear, these images are not from the Outagamie Master Gardeners Garden Walk.  I hesitate to say on which group's garden walk these were taken.  Most of these vignettes were seen in two or three of the gardens on the thour, but all were ornamented in a similar style, so I started thinking there had to be a "Patient Zero" or ground zero from which this contagion spread.  A style arbitrator, of sorts, which sort of set the "standard", so to speak.  The last garden I visited that day, I felt was indeed that ground zero.  Horticulturally, they probably had the best grip on growing detail; obviously, not a lot of taste, though.  Since they were the area's expert in one dimension of gardening, they were able to spread not only their expertise in one area, but their non-expertise in another.

Of course there were gnomes!

Fly your freak flag!

Patroness Saint of wharf albatross and gulls (note the wire fence around the micro-bed)

Crafty (we aren't) glass something

Once upon a tree face

Can one poorly displayed worm spoil all the apples, I mean gardens?
Rasta pot boy?

Call me!
I turned blue hearing these called "Wax Wing" begonias. I know Dragon Wing begonias are a cross, but...

Didn't know badgers lived in bird houses; I learn something everyday!

Not sure why this is here at all

Styrofoam boat dock buoys adding a decorative touch

So faux, I just can't....

Prize for ornamentation outnumbering plants?
Hmm, garden in need of a theme?

..."and this is my imitation of the Scarecrow juggling thee flower pots, ...if I only had a brain..."

Gnome and Cow Mailbox at High Noon Stare-Down

No sense removing that Christmas angel!

Young love...
 Surprisingly, there were NO flocks of pink flamingos!
Imagine!  A rock inscribed with your every thought...

There a few of these non-functional, "eco-invoking" windmills...

And the failed attempt at hide and seek with the sanitary sewer clean-outs

And oodles of shepherd hook hangers for yet another basket of annuals
In one garden alone there were 50 or so garden ornaments in a single view.  There were lots of plants just stuck in a spot in a lawn around which a "micro-bed" (Handsome Son coined this new garden style expression.) garden evolved. These micro-beds were enclosed with flimsy wire fence to denote the bed and to which one or more piece of garden "art" and a shepherd hook with a hanging basket were then added.

This garden walk made me want to run home and throw out every piece rusty iron, my front porch's bright pink chairs, and Chinese rabbit and frog statuary (one piece each) immediately.  Decidedly an inoculation against poor ornamentation in the garden,

it made me want to...
Dog vomit fungii


  1. Gaaah! Bring in the epidemiologists! Must identify the vector and isolate! And don't forget the Hazmat suits!

    1. Sadness and bad taste must follow me around. I went on a garden walk today in a different area (a large WI city), and found all but one garden infected as well. I'm starting to think I'm the strange one, thinking that gardens are about horticulture and design. Ugh!

  2. Oh HONEY!!!

    Lol, I'm sorry but I sat here chuckling over this- I've always objected to that sort of thing. I think I have some rusty stuff tucked here and there, and I think it is sort of charming, but I am totally with you on this!

    I almost spit my coffee out laughing when I saw the tree face!

    1. Glad to bring joy and laughter to your day. Seeing these gardens first hand though was a bit overwhelming. They had these incredible views of Buffalo Lake and then all this crap in their yards. I kept envisioning Mother Nature vomiting up the lake in a strange new form of tsunami and washing it all away, so they could start again, like ants.